Monthly Archives: March 2009
This monologue hit me fast. I had to write it quickly.
Life can change in a blink of an eye. Minor decisions can bring big changes. One word and a whole story can change. And life as we know will never be the same.
I believe things happen for a reason. Just probably not the reason I wanted. That’s probably why life is not fair. It doesn’t take sides.
I never met anyone like her. She was the best thing that happened to me. ::chuckling:: She was also the worst thing that happened to me. She can be sweet and funny. She can be stubborn and muleheaded. I can always see her pure soul shining out of her eyes. I would never forget her laugh, a sound full of pranks and love.
I love her. I never loved anything before. Not like this. She never heard it from my own mouth. But I think she knew how I felt.
I never got a chance to tell her either. That’s what I regret the most. When I found out how I felt, it was too late. Too damn late.
I thought it was too late.
So I stand here today declaring my love for her. Hopefully she’ll know it’s never too late.
And so the story begins: 3 Months earlier
“What are you doing?”
I slightly turned from my kneeling position to see the brunette an inch away from my ear. A nosy client. Great. “I’m putting together the lens for this camera and also attaching a flash. This area is a little lacking in light. If you want a good shot, I need these to make the picture work.”
“Geez, a little touchy. I meant what are you thinking about? You had a weird crinkle in your forehead and your eyes went a bit wild for a moment. It was not a look of someone thinking about light and whatever other stuff goes into photography.”
“Look if you want this scenery, ….”
“The agency said that you did the shoots for National Geographic for years. And that you just recovered from an injury. Did you hurt yourself on an expedition?”
“… You are…. who told … look can we just get on with this? I have another appointment in 2 hours.”
“No you don’t. I asked Bradford and he said that this is basically your first shoot since the ‘hush hush’ accident.”
Bradford. He is going to die a slow death. And so soon after his wife gave birth. A pity.
“Whatever lady. Let’s just get a move on.”
“Not lady. I have a name. It’s Sunny.”
What do you think so far?
In business school, I was told that by stengthening a company’s buying power, you should be able to reap in better returns. In a way, that’s what I want to do. But in a totally different market.
I have an urge to shop. And by strengthening my guts to just buy the stuff I want, I’ll be able to reap in the valuable items I want. On the other hand, that means I have to work my butt off to pay off the credit card. I’m not looking forward to that though.
I feel like I’m going through withdrawal of a drug. I’m frenetic, snappy, cranking, and jittery. All the makings of a junkie. But it’s not for drugs. It’s for shopping.
It’s been a while since I shopped. For clothes, jewelry, shoes, or purses. I have been just working, taking care of Megan, and working!
All of a sudden, it hit me – this shopping frenzy – this urge to do some damage to my credit card. And the idea that I might be sinking a whole in my credit card isn’t even phasing me. Something is really wrong with me!
I’m only 27, but on days like this, I feel like I’m 75 or older. My back was achy when I woke up this morning. It wasn’t painful just achy and sore even though I haven’t exercised or lifted anything. Well except my baby but she shouldn’t make me sore. Maybe I slept too much. But then why was I still tired this morning.
Lately, my feet is tingly when I first get up. It’s like my feet fell asleep while I was sleeping, but shouldn’t that make my feet numb immediately? What is going on with my body?
I should probably exercise more. But there is not enough time in the day for me to fit in a workout much less drive to the gym. Yes, the gym is about 10 minutes away but it’s still not close enough for me. I have the treadmill at home but not the weights or the resistance equipment.
I need to cut work short and go exercise more often. I’m starting to feel really stressed. My neck is constantly tense. The muscle there in my neck is sooo knotty.
Yup 75 year old.
Excerpt at mylifetime.com
Hehe. I’m writing this blog after I found harden sauce in my hair. It had clumped around the bottom of my hair in this hard mass. I had to pick at it and realized it was some sauce substance from my baby’s food. She had went wild tonight, dumping everything on her high chair. Thank goodness it was only in the tray of her high chair.
I think I would cry if I had to mop the floor tonight.
Somehow her tossing and flinging sauce at me, made me laugh. I was happy that she was so carefree and excited. I guess that’s just her being young. And within a year, two, even 18, I might never ever see that side of her again. I just want to enjoy it for as long as I can.
She also take in delight at HI-5 series that a friend of my parents sent to us. She loves the colors, the acting and the music. I couldn’t tear her away from it. It got so good for her that while she bounced and jiggled to the music, I ate standing up. Stuffing my face, quick just to keep an eye on her. My husband kinda stood aghast at seeing supermom in action.
So nothing should surprise me to find sauce in my hair or that I who usually eat savoringly will stuff her face.
I am not a frugal person. I love to shop and find something I would like. But sometimes, I find something I like but I wouldn’t even wear it. Don’t know why. I have tons of clothes with tags.
At least, it hasn’t gotten so bad lately. But I’ve been feeling the itch to shop.
Yesterday I bought a purse. I regretted now, because I don’t think I need a new purse. I still like my old one.
Why did I buy the new one? It was leather and free Express NEXT DAY shipping.
yeah, really good deal. Should I mention the purse’s name is “Pay My Tab.” I thought it was funny. fitting really.
So I’m online again. Window shopping through the pages of the internet. Wondering should I buy this pretty ballerina looking dress when I don’t have any where to go. No wedding, no party, no business gala…
Oh my lord. Finally Megan is using the sippy cup without problems. It’s been 3 days and nights and no complaints. I have fully removed the bottles and they are IN STORAGE!
How I did it? I don’t know.
Ok so I have an idea how I did it. It took 3 weeks though.
Step 1: remove the bottles from sight.
Step 2: Give only sippy cup.
Step 3: After tantrums and crying, I gave up and handed her the bottle.
Step 4: Try sippy cup tomorrow. Add something to that milk. Use something she likes. I used mashed avocado. She loves avocado. Let her see you add that item.
Step 5: Repeat Step 1-4. Add less of “GOODIE” to milk each time.
Step 6: Voila! Hand her the sippy cup without a blink or nervousness. She took it without even a tear.
Hang in there moms. You can sippy cup train ’em.