Monthly Archives: February 2009
I began writing poetry at 15. I was such an awkward teenager. Most of the time I was depressed and stressed. Even though I had a loving family, my parents were strict. I couldn’t get a B in my classes. I had to be the best at everything. I was the daughter and the son they never had. I had to live up to the family name and bring all the pride home.
Poetry became my safe haven. Without it, I think I wouldn’t be here today. It really cleared my brain from all the cluttered mess.
At 15, one poem I wrote was for content. It went on to win The Best in the City Award at the 10th grade level. Here are others I have written so far (more will be coming soon).
I Lost My Way
I saw you one day
Walking with a friend
One look and I knew
We’d be together someday
You’re so right for me,
I hope you know,
But then I lost my way.
I had your heart
I saw that in your eyes.
I became your entire life
Wrapped yourself around me,
And so happy were we.
But I lost my way.
Along with your heart,
I also took your glee.
I broke your world
Into sad little pieces.
I’m sorry honey,
We’re not meant to be.
I lost my way,
My way to your heart.
I just fell out of love…
I’m so sorry.
Many of my close friends do not know this about me: My dream is to be a writer… a romance writer.
I love to read and write. But my writings are more for business than pleasure. I have started several novels. But I have never completed any of them. Mostly these stories and these characters just rotate in my head, waiting for me to do SOMETHING! I have half heartedly pursued this dream.
I will try to use this blog as an outlet for that writing process. You will probably see many “beginnings” and never an end. Hopefully someday, I will be able to complete one novel or all.
Please note that these are romances so there will be adult content.
IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 PLEASE HAVE PARENTAL PERMISSION.
Most of our customers are really awesome people. But we get those customers who are just out of their minds.
Most Vietnamese customers are just really bad consumers. Many come to our store thinking we mark everything expensive and give huge discounts. We do not do that. They are always demanding for a 50% discount and NO TAX. I do not understand the no tax. Everyone has to pay tax. We get yelled at by Vietnamese consumers all the time, saying that are prices are too high. If they are too high, how come we’re getting business. The only people who complain are Vietnamese people who just come in to attack us. They throw tantrums and whine and whine about prices. It’s really sad to watch.
We had one guy insult us working women saying, “Don’t talk to those girls. They don’t know anything.” The strange thing was he was the one who didn’t know anything. He wanted to purchase this mixer with a built in amplifier. He asked me “How many watts does this unit have?” I told him, “It is only a mixer, so it does not produce any wattage.” He told me, “No, I had one like this. It was also an amplifier.” I had to show him on the box that the unit said “MIXER.” Whatever dude.
We totally have Asians think that a mixer will make them automatically sound better. One time, this Vietnamese girl was like, “See. This mixer is broken. It doesn’t make me sound better.” She’s singing on the mixer and we tell her you have to create your own sound. “In order to use the mixer properly, you need to adjust the echo, and other effects on this mixer, to fill in with your voice. You can’t just plug and play. And each song is a different tune that you would adjust to fit accordingly. ” She refused to believe that she had to sing well in order to sound good.
About 80% of Vietnamese people do not treat others how they are treated. I think they just shop to attack the business. We get a good percentage of machine illerate Vietnamese customers. They don’t do product research before buying. They do not know the market prices nor do they know what the product they need to get. They all say “We’re engineers. We know what we’re doing. My son is a doctor. We’re educated. We do not need help from you. We know more than you will ever know.” That attitude and ego is such a nightmare.
We do not want your business if you keep acting so high handedly.
I was raised in a loving family. I just didn’t get the kind of love I wanted. The more I pleased my parents the harder they were on me. If I gotten an A in school, it was not “Good Job!” But it was “Why didn’t you get an A+?” I had once gotten a B in English in 10th grade. My father enrolled me in Sylvan Learning Center.
I always wanted a praise from them, but I never really gotten that. When I had gotten into New York University, they had bribed me to stay at home. When I had gotten a job, they bribed me into working at their business.
It wasn’t bribing. It was more like guilt trips.
Somehow, I am still falling for those guilt trips. The things I wanted to do, I couldn’t do without a guilt trip. When can I ever move on?
Tonight wasn’t an example of a guilt trip. But it hurt me nonetheless. Parenting is not easy. But they shower a love for my baby, than I had ever seen. I never gotten that attention.
I want reassurance that I’m raising my baby the right way. When my mom starts to say, Megan didn’t drink enough, I responded “The pediatrician said only 12oz to 15oz a day.” My parents would constantly respond that I was raised differently and grew up fine.
I really didn’t like how I was raised in the first place. I was on formula until I was 3. I had cavities with 6 silver teeth at the age of 4. I didn’t have a drop of water as a child. I drank Seven Up since I was a baby. All because my parents “raised” me that way.
My beliefs are clashing with their methods. My mom got fed up at my “wishes” and said that I should handle it fine, that she will no longer interfere.
Why does it always seem to be a threat that comes out of my mom’s mouth?
I remember the first week after my baby was born. I was stressed and sleep deprived. Megan was not breastfeeding well. She seemed always hungry. I didn’t know enough about a baby to begin with. I felt like I was a horrible mom. “How could I keep raising a child when I don’t know what to do?”
I mean, “Wasn’t I supposed to know intrinsically?”
With the help of http://answers.yahoo.com/, saved my sanity. I would just search for answers. “How much is a my week old baby supposed to drink? How do you wash her? What am I supposed to do when she…” The most important thing I found was that many moms out there were in the same position as I was. They were having doubts but with http://answers.yahoo.com/ we found the answers we needed.
My current question was how much whole milk should my baby drink?
My doctor said “12oz to 15oz” a day. Megan was drinking on average 28oz a day. I found out that this was bad. Cow’s milk contains a lot of calcium which could cause dental problems later on and even digestive problems.
So just in the past two days, I’ve but back 2 feedings. She seems to be handling it just fine. Amazing! I thought she would cry and starve.
I guess that means she’s eating enough.
Wow. Just when I thought troubles were over, we’re having sippy cup problems. She is drinking normally from a sippy cup for just water and juice. But she refuses to drink milk out of a sippy. I’m at my wits end.
I googled answers and found this:
1. Use a cup. Try with and without a straw.
2. Give milk in a bowl with cereal. Get baby to sip from bowl.
3. Use milk in something else, like a smoothie.
I made an avocado shake today using 2 oz of milk. Spoon fed her, and she liked it. I will try the other methods and see which works. Wish me luck!
I tried many things today:
Getting her to drink from a cup only (no sippy). She actually liked that. But I didn’t. It was way too messy. It spilled all over her. She liked it because she got to play with the mess.
I also tried using a straw. Didn’t work because she couldn’t figure how to suck from the straw.
Then I took her bottle without the nipple top part, and tried to show her how to drink like a cup and with a straw. No to both tries.
Tonight before bed, she usually takes a bottle of 8 oz. But tonight, I gave her a sippy and she refused it. So she went to bed without anything to drink. Hopefully she’ll sleep well.
So tomorrow, I will try the milk with cereal deal.
Okay, Megan is finally getting the hang of the sippy cup. She drinks about 5 oz of milk today out of her sippy cup. Her final feeding before bedtime is still a bottle. However, I’m optimistic, she’ll stop and start using the sippy cup for this last feeding soon.
I feel a bunch of stress just lifted off my shoulders. It was such a horrible task. Megan kept crying the demanding the bottle throughout the day. But I sucked it up and figured I have to be MOM. She can’t control me or she’ll walk all over me.
Each morning, she gets a sippy cup of milk and breakfast. I keep offering that same sippy cup every hour. I figure she’ll have to get used to this sippy cup.
I grew up knowing I wanted to be a business owner. It was in my blood since I was born. I knew I was going to be the best damn student in my class. I knew I would graduate from college and do something I have always dreamed about. Mostly, all my dreams came true. I even met the guy of my dreams.
The only thing I never planned (and had gotten) was my baby girl, Megan. Yeah, she was a surprise. I had thought to put off parenthood for another two to three years. I was enjoying my quiet time with my husband. I love the independence of just staying out till the wee morning. I love to just go here and there without any objections.
With a baby, my life quickly took off at a speeding pace. No longer was I cruising on the side roads looking at the scenery. I was now heading probably break neck speed along 10 lanes of traffic without any idea where I’m going. I was always afraid of the police, but now I wish a cop would pull me over and tell me to slow down.
My life is never going to be the same.